


all that Ever is or was

by Will_I_Ever_Make_A_Sound



Category: Vicious - V. E. Schwab
Genre: I will forever say this, Love?, M/M, Vicious needs more fics, i love making Ever puns I'm sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-12
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2019-06-26 08:26:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15659487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Will_I_Ever_Make_A_Sound/pseuds/Will_I_Ever_Make_A_Sound
Summary: Inspired by you know it will never be the same by heroicVictor Vale gets questioned by a Clarke sister





	all that Ever is or was

**Author's Note:**

  * For [heroic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/heroic/gifts).
  * Inspired by [you know it'll never be the same](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15644112) by [heroic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/heroic/pseuds/heroic). 



"What's so special about Eli?" Sydney asks suddenly.

  
It's midnight, and every inch of the bar counter is covered in papers and photos, hanging florescent lights illuminating the work.

  
The question, quite unexpected, makes Victor finally looks over, snapping out of a reverie.

  
"There's nothing special about Eli Car- Ever," he says, heart skipping a beat when he falters on the last name. Damned sentimentality.

  
Sydney tilts her head, narrowing her pale eyes slightly over her can of Mountain Dew.  
"I don't believe you," she says, quite decisively, and Victor swears under his breath. Why did Sydney have to be so meddling?

  
"He was more than that," Victor reluctantly admits. It's the most honest he's been about his feelings in years. "He was..."  
He trails off. A million words, all too inadequate, flood his mind. Roommate, friend, yes, but more. Partner. Associate. Closer than that, more intimate than that-  
"I was fond of him," he finally finishes, perhaps a bit dully.

  
Sydney raises an eyebrow, an arching movement Victor is sure she copied from him.  
"Did you love him?" She asks.

  
Victor freezes, stiffening in his chair. Of course she had to ask, the question phrased as if it were easy, a yes or no.  
It wasn't a yes or no. Maybe, just maybe, he'd felt a little more for Eli, the real Eli, and his jealousy of Eli and Angie was more because Angie had Eli than the other way around. But he hadn't _loved_ him. There hadn't been time to learn how to love him. There'd been lust, and jealousy, and maybe an aching for what people might call love, but no love itself. It had been the fault of both Eli and Victor himself. Maybe if the timing had been right, and Angie Knight hadn't gone to Lockland, and Victor had had the guts to say what he thought, then...

  
But it was all potential. A potential that had faded from a flame into cooling ashes.

  
"I didn't," he says finally. "But maybe I could've."

  
It's as close to the truth as he can get, and Sydney know that. So though she wants to press, she lets the older man go, and silently returns to skimming through paragraphs with a new question tumbling around in her mind.

  
Victor looks back down at the photo in his lap, his mouth twitching in a sad smile as he looks down at a younger, grinning Eli Cardale holding a cone of ice-cream in one hand and a younger, more subdued but still half-smiling Victor Vale in the the other.  
Memories flood his head like ghosts, and he stares into the dark end living room, hoping to chase the what-ifs away.


End file.
